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Alien Mom Wears Chicken Slippers While Bringing Home The Bacon
by Sheilah Bright
Recently, I finalized details of a national
advertising campaign while wearing only a pair of fuzzy chicken slippers. The
towel Id wrapped around myself as I dashed to answer the telephone managed to
wiggle down to my ankles sometime between "Hello" and "No, this isnt a bad time
For all my client knew, I was coifed, polished
and sitting behind a desk stacked with color-coded project folders instead of
Legos and half a box of Ritz crackers.
Now, there is another job that would allow me to
make money in such attire. Freelance writing, however, is legal and
realistically much more obtainable considering my age and the fact that I have
given birth to three children.
When I left the corporate world seven years ago,
I happily rid my life of pantyhose and office politics. Stress, anxiety and
frustration, however, followed me home. When Im working at the computer, I feel
guilty for not spending time with the kids or the washing machine. When Im
folding clothes, I avoid the computers condescending glare.
In the alien-world of a work-at-home mom,
someone always tugs at your shirtsleeve. Sometimes, its a 7-year-old with a
runny nose. Sometimes, its the PTA bean supper chairperson. Sometimes, its the
president of a multi-million dollar corporation.
My relatives question the legality of my work.
Any day now, they expect federal agents to rush in and shut me down like they
did Uncle Oscar back in the 20s. ("Explain to us again what exactly it is you
What I do is juggle. Words. Laundry. Parenthood.
Its a skill required for anyone yearning to work from their home. I have
learned to simultaneously administer antibiotics to a cranky 9-year-old and fax
a press release to an automobile dealer in Toledo. I can design a newsletter
while curling my eyelashes, present a proposal while folding underwear and write
magazine articles while draining pasta (WARNING: Noodles must be removed from
If surprises send you over the edge, Id
consider an office job. When you work from your home, its a given that your
clients call will be answered by a child declaring "Brights Funny Farm. Our
Pets Are Called Food." The UPS delivery will arrive as soon as you step from the
shower. Something sticky and purple will find its way to your
But if you want to legally make money in chicken
slippers and little else, this alien world will work wonders for you.
article first appeared in Tulsa Kids.
© Copyright 1997, Sheilah Bright
Sheilah Bright, former newspaper editor turned freelance writer, has published hundreds of non-fiction articles, advertorials, newsletters and several short stories. A contributing editor to
Oklahoma Today, she writes from her barn loft office and rides herd over a menagerie of cows, horses, chicken, dogs, ducks and kids.